Don’t be afraid! We have everything under control

We, the ruling political class, immobilize the people; now it fits; just before the world economic crisis claims its victims, we increase the access to the population, we forbid contacts in public space. We do not allow and we enforce the roundup. The equipment with digital media helps us to track their whereabouts at all times and to prevent meetings by the police. The crude methods of the right-wing populists are not necessary, we are doing it smarter: we have rediscovered the annual wave of influenza and have brought to the fore the virus that claims its victims every year. This year, there are as many victims as in previous years, but we will not, as we did with swine flu, miss the opportunity to make political capital out of it.
And the media are playing along, showing graphics with steep rises (the wave rises so steeply every year), bringing pictures of coffins (these are the coffins of those who drowned in Lampedusa, but still impressive) and stirring up fears. At the same time we appeal to solidarity, which is always well received.
The timing is excellent: the returns of the corporations, especially the car companies, are in great danger. Dismissals of workers are urgently necessary, short-time work compensation paid by the state helps enormously to preserve the returns.
The climate movement was threatening to slip away from us and was eroding returns. Young people did not seem to be interested in this. They simply didn’t want to understand that climate protection has to take a back seat to economic growth. So now they should see how difficult it is to maintain the economic cycle.
The populists like Höcke and Salvini and Co. can’t do that as well as we can. We guarantee you that your property will not be touched. We will let in migrants who are able to work in such doses that there is sufficient wage competition and that trade unions cannot make outrageous demands. We have also created a good environment in which pensions do not have to be paid until the age of 67.
Some small businesses will probably go bankrupt, but the media are on our side and have already prepared the appropriate reassuring statements (zombie companies etc.). There are still alternative media that elude our line, but we will slander them and cover them up with costly lawsuits. That always helps. We have thinned out the judiciary so that it will not dare to resist. In the Federal Constitutional Court we have positioned tried and tested politicians so that the judiciary will not step out of line either.
We are well prepared and have total control; if necessary, we will step up surveillance even more and will then be more successful than the state security of the GDR. We don’t need to resort to such brutal methods as the Chinese did in the case of the doctor who first examined the viruses.
The course of the crisis will show that the population will have to work so much harder that the haves will emerge stronger from it.